lynn muller did our family pics, and we just love them!!
i see you. you just had a baby, and you have no idea what in the world happened. “IS THIS REAL LIFE?!” you think to yourself. you might still be in the hospital, someone pushing on your belly every few hours [um, ouch], or you might be just arriving home, with your significant other headed back to work, and you’re spending all day with this tiny, fragile thing that might cry at any moment, and for sure needs to eat, like, every five seconds.
if you are anything like me, bringing home your first baby is one of the most terrifying, isolating times of your life. i’m on the other side of that, though, mama, so i want to tell you a couple of things that i discovered:
- first and foremost, IT GETS BETTER. you need to hear this: IT GETS BETTER. i promise. i know that putting that baby in a carseat to take them somewhere on your own for the first time is scarier than that time you had to give a speech in front of your senior class. are they gonna break? oh god, they started crying, WHAT NOW?! diaper change. ok, we aren’t going anywhere, we are just to stay home. i get you — i’ve been there. i sat on the floor of my living room, crying along with logan as we had attempted to go to one of joey’s wrestling meets. “we aren’t going to be there tonight” i remember texting him. it got better. i got better. notice how i didn’t say it would get easier? i truly don’t think it does … i just think you get better.
- be gentle with yourself, physically and emotionally. this was SO hard for me, on so many fronts. i wanted to get back to working out, and i was for sure a basket case being home alone with someone who didn’t talk yet. my entire maternity leave was a practice in grace, and self love. and in all honesty, i wasn’t that good at it. there is way too much pressure to bounce back, not just physically, but mentally too. you are expected to return to your ‘old’ life [whatever that means], but this time have a baby, a super cute, perfectly organized – and chic – diaper bag, and clean and perfectly buckled car-seat in tow. this is not realistic, and i hope that you, mama, grant yourself permission to go out of the house in sweatpants, and just HOPE you brought enough diapers with you. i’ll tell you, on those rare [RARE!!] days when everything goes perfectly, it’s a miracle. 99% of the time, at least for me, it’s a s**tshow, figuratively and literally, so i’m slowly learning [even a year+ later] how to roll with it.
- ask for help. everyone says this, but for real, call a friend. i guarantee you have friends/family/trusted people in your life that are happy to hold a baby. and if you happen to be reading this and you didn’t just have a baby? text [not call, don’t you dare wake that kid up] your friend that just had said baby and ask if you can come over, and what they want you to bring for dinner, too. hold that kid, give mom some adult conversation, and just BE there. but not too long, junior needs to eat again.
- i’ve said it before, but whatever you are feeling is ok. i’m not going to tell you to “enjoy it”, because i certainly didn’t [most of the time]. that being said, back to point #1, it gets better. those first couple months are tough, and as adorable and sweet and heartwarming as those baby snuggles are [don’t get me wrong, i LIVE for those moments when you’re holding a perfectly content, sleeping babe], it’s ok to look forward to when they are a few weeks older and you start to seeing progression, and they recognize you/smile/laugh! for the first time. guys, those days make it worth it. and from about 3 months on [for me at least], each day gets better and better. and before you know it, they are rolling over, sitting up, crawling, talking, saying “mama”, walking, and growing up right before your eyes. and those days are GOOD. not just good, but GOOD GOOD. you realize that all the reading you are doing to a kid that really can’t comprehend anything IS making a difference, and you are teaching them to be good, and strong, and smart, and kind.
those leg rolls!!!!!
i swear she likes me
it was between doing a nordstrom sale roundup and sharing this post today, and somehow this one seemed a little more important [and trust me, i love the #nsale]. i am so happy to say that i love being a mom, because i was worried that i wasn’t cut out for it right away. being logan’s “mommy!mommy!” is the best job i could ever have, and i am so thankful each and every day that i am afforded the opportunity to learn from the sweetest, sassiest, most hilarious little girl. logan, if you ever get the chance to read this [which at this rate is going to be soon, considering how smart you are], know that i love you and am so privileged to be your mom.
new mommas, you are doing it right. no matter what you’re doing, if your baby is fed [#fedisbest, but that’s a post for another day], safe, and loved, you are a-ok. if you hear nothing else, know that you are doing a wonderful job at the hardest job in the world.
i’m working on soliciting some new mom #hacks from some of my girlfriends that just had babies in the last year or so, so i’ll be rounding those up and putting them in one place. in the meantime, if you have any good advice for the new moms out there, feel free to comment/email/drop me a comment on my insta. i’d love to hear + share!
happy friday 🙂
