photo by the super smart, so very talented maria lloyd photography. she does some amazing family photos, guys, so keep her in mind for your christmas cards!
kinda weird to be posting about a new year’s resolution in august, right? to be totally honest, i’ve been meaning to write this for a while, as a sort of personal check-in with myself on how i’m doing honoring my resolution. you see, i’ve never been one to make, let alone keep, a resolution. i’m not sure where this mental block comes from, but i feel like a resolution is either something i “know” i can achieve, so pretty pointless, or something i “know” i won’t, so i set myself up for failure [the “know” is in quotes, because i don’t actually know any of this. this is just what my brain tells me, and it could very well be wrong]. i never make them because of this.
this year, i wanted to try something different. i know it’s been said you should write down your goals, and for a long time, i thought resolutions and goals were the same thing. to me, resolutions and goals are two different things. goals should be written down and tracked against. i chose not to write my resolution down; but to instead use it as my north star for the year. “do more things that scare me.” that’s my resolution. and by treating it like a guiding principal, it has led me to do things i never thought i could or would do. here are just a few examples:
- this blog!! it is terrifying to put yourself out there, which is why i sat on this for 5+ years. but i just started with baby steps, and leaned into the fear when i felt it. now, today, i’m three months in, and loving it. i get to connect with so many cool people on a variety of topics, and it allows me to really cultivate my creative side. i’d consider that a major win for me!
- tried out to walk in a fashion show for target’s annual all-company meeting [key takeaway – this was a try-out. the odds of me getting asked to walk are pretty slim :)]. said meeting takes place in a giant concert venue, so it’s no small deal. just trying out for it was scary, but by putting myself out there, i took one small step in conquering the fear of what other people will think of me.
- be more vocal in what i need with my husband, my friends, and in my career. advocating for yourself is scary, and i have embraced my fear on many occasions and asked for what i need.
i am not perfect on any of these fronts, by any means, but i really think that by consciously leaning into what i’m fearing, without over analyzing things, i’ve had some really positive changes in my life that are really starting to shape my future. to me, it’s all about saying “yes” when my first instinct is to say “no.” now, that doesn’t mean saying yes to things that are completely wrong or dangerous. no, this means saying yes to the things that give you a slight pang of anxiety, because you think you might fail. THOSE are the things i am saying yes to, and THOSE are the things that are really building me up as a person. by embracing this whole ‘lean into your fear’ mentality, i think i’m building mental fortitude, and framing my life up to be richer, fuller, and more exciting.
what about you? any resolutions you are working on actively? i’d love to hear! comment on my latest insta or this post!