here’s your disclaimer now: i’m not a parenting expert [or expert of any kind, really] and i definitely don’t have it all figured out. but this is the advice i’d give my very best girlfriends, or the advice they have given me. as with everything else here, take what suits you and leave the rest.
if you saw my post yesterday [or my instagram] you know that we are one month in with our second kid. two kids is NO JOKE. i mean, one kid is no joke, but two is a constant state of mental logistics. “ok, if i get the older one out of the car first, she has to come and hold my hand [PLEASE DON’T RUN AWAY] while i one-handedly get the baby out of the car. but if i get the baby out first, i have to set him down in the middle of the parking lot. holy s**t there’s not a good way to do this” that being said, there’s a few things i’ve come to realize hold true, whether it’s your first baby or your thirteenth [at which case TLC will be calling soon for your own reality show].
it gets better: i know it seems like it’s all endless – the up every two hours to feed, the diaper changes, the burping … but hang in there. tough it out, because it’s totally worth it. you don’t have to know why or how, but it is. just power through the first few weeks. tbh, i want to punch anyone who tells me it all goes by so fast. because at 4am, it doesn’t go by that quickly.
but it goes by quickly: all of a sudden you’ll look up and your baby will be two, deciding what she wants to eat and what she wants to wear [with a VERY strong opinion], and you’re like “welp, time to have another kid … where has the time gone?!” the days are long but the years are short. that is the truest statement of motherhood if i’ve ever heard one.
your mental health matters, so go to target: or the grocery store or the mall or on a walk or anywhere you need to. just get out. nothing makes you feel more human than looking at aisle endcaps for clearance items you didn’t know you needed with a starbucks in hand. get out of the house with the baby; it’s such a confidence-builder every time you do it. i know, #germs, but i had a kid in the middle of cold and flu season, and staying home all the time was tough. get one of those neat car-seat covers and hit up your favorite home goods in peace.
you can detach: physically, i mean. i didn’t separate myself from logan for the first five – six weeks. anywhere i went, she went. it’s exhausting. figure out how to get a few hours reprieve, even if it’s just going to the gas station, and do it. it’s liberating. i left cole with joey for half an hour about a week after we got home from the hospital, and it was life changing.
you can do this: some days you’re going to feel like you have it all figured out, and other days you are going to be like “PUT IT BACK!”, but you can do it. some of the best parenting advice i received was “people much dumber than you do this all the time.” seriously, i think about that all the time and it’s comforting [so thanks, christina :)]
i’m not here to tell you to “cherish it all!” because being peed on by your brand new son sucks. but i’m here to say it’s all survivable. and it is TOTALLY worth it. getting the opportunity to raise these little humans – your tiny best friends – is the best opportunity in the world.
love you, logan and cole! thanks for making me a better human.