holy hannah it’s been four+ weeks! time has flown. unless it’s midnight – 3am, because time seems to crawl when i am not sleeping when i should be.
physically: i’m feeling great. my incision is closed and the swelling seems to have gone down some. i still have that c-section “shelf”, but not all of that went away last time, so i’m assuming it will be there to stay for now. it didn’t bother me that much once all of the internal swelling went down, and i’m hoping it’s the same this time around. it’s not as bad as it could be, and nothing a little front-tuck can’t distract from 😉 it’s also a good time for high-waisted bottoms to be in style.
i’m still missing my sweet, uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep, but i know that will come. we are still up every 2-3 hours, but it is really amazing how your body just adapts to running on such little sleep. nothing a venti cold brew can’t fix. i know, caffeine, but i never end up drinking the whole thing anyways. remember my parenting motto? “surviving, occasionally thriving” — coffee is survival.
these two things are SUPER random, but i kind of can’t believe i didn’t talk about them more in my previous posts! first up is the night sweats. those are so weird, and i get them concentrated in my legs [i have to wear pajama pants to bed, which makes it worse, but makes it so i’m not washing the sheets every day]. i feel like they’re finally starting to let up a little in the last few days, but i still wake up drenched. it’s so bizarre. i know it’s my hormones shifting and my body getting rid of some of the excess fluid it builds up from pregnancy. i’m looking forward to no more night sweats, because i hate sweating in general for the most part.
the second thing is my ears are super itchy! i had mentioned it in one of my early #bumpdates, so i’m wondering if it has something to do with a certain level of hormones? i have no research to back that up, but it really is bizarre. my ears have never been so itchy! and it’s like, inside but the part you can reach with a q-tip [again, i know, ‘nothing smaller than an elbow inside your ear!’ but seriously, would q-tip be in business if that were truly followed?] anyways, curious to see that subsides in the future or if it’s completely unrelated to pregnancy [it HAS to be related, right?]
i also swore i wasn’t going to worry on getting back to my pre-cole weight [still higher than my pre-logan weight, but i know my body got a new normal set-point], but i did want to just share that while i think my body looks different, i haven’t lost a pound in the last three weeks. the whole “breastfeed and the weight will just fall off!” is NOT true for me. i can tell that my body [ thanks, hormones] holds on to weight until i stop producing a significant amount of milk, and that’s ok. i’m also trying to zone in on eating a little healthier because cole still depends on me for nutrition. but, yes, i still have my fair share of dairy queen blizzards #balance
mentally/emotionally: so weird; the DMER has started happening more and more! [i talked about it here] i’m i’m assuming it, as with everything else, has to do with the hormone fluctuations. again, it’s helpful to know that it’s not really a mental thing, but my body’s physical response to my milk letdown, but still not the most fun thing to go through.
cole is growing out of the sleepy newborn stage, and sometimes cries when i put him in his car seat, which puts me more on edge. i keep reminding myself it is ok if he cries, and it usually doesn’t last long, but there is something about hearing your baby’s cry that makes cortisol levels shoot through the roof. he’s also been fussier overall, crying all the time when he’s in his carseat in the cart or when he’s discontented at home [for no real reason]. i checked the wonder weeks app, and he’s about to go through his first leap, so it makes sense he’s being a little more fussy in general. i have been taking joey up on giving me a break here and there to go be what i call “invisible.” you see, when you are in a store/anywhere with a kid or as a pregnant woman, people look at you. no matter what. it’s not a bad thing, but i take advantage of an hour to go to home depot to look at faucets and just be ‘invisible.’
i hope it doesn’t seem like i’m complaining — i’m just trying to keep it real. i fully recognize and appreciate the gift i have been given in my children. having a new baby is tough, but being a mom is one of the greatest privileges one can be given.
happy wednesday! thanks for reading and following along on this journey.