last post writing from maternity leave! i took ten weeks with cole [i had eight with logan]. do i wish i had taken longer? ask me in a few weeks once i’m back to work – ha. right now i’m ready to go back and really miss flexing that part of my brain, but i’m sure there will be a part of me that misses being home with cole all day and being there when logan gets home from daycare.
yes, we send logan to daycare even though i’ve been on maternity leave and my husband is a teacher. we do so for a few reasons: 1. joey works other random jobs throughout the summer, so his schedule isn’t very conducive to taking care of a two year old. 2. i had major surgery to get cole here, so caring for one baby during the day was exhausting enough in the beginning [a vaginal delivery falls into the “exhausting” category as well]. 3. logan LOVES it. she has so many friends and learns so much there; she would be way too bored at home. 4. we pay for it, so why not use it? our daycare is great, and it’s more beneficial for logan to be there during the day than at home.
figured i’d address that, since we have received a few offhand comments about not keeping her home. i’m not even a little bit ashamed for sending my daughter somewhere where she is well cared for AND has fun.
here’s the lowdown on week 9 of the fourth trimester:
physically: can we just take a second and [re]address the whole “breastfeed and the weight falls off” thing? because i just want any other mom who might come across this to know that, while it may be true for some, it is NOT true for all. i kept about 10 lbs on after i had logan until i was done nursing some 10+ months later. i thought maaayybbbee that it was a fluke and this time the weight will just fall off while i nurse *laughs.* not the case, and i’m trying to not let it bother me. why am i so sensitive to it? two reasons. 1. i love clothes/fashion/getting dressed, and not fitting into some of my favorite clothes sucks. 2. i hadn’t always been the size i am/was pre-babies, and it takes WORK to get there, and WORK to stay there. so i’m over here riding this fine line of grace, where i know that the weight is probably not going to move no matter what i do until i’m done nursing, but i don’t want to get too comfortable and lose my motivation to stay healthy.
the good news is that i fit into way more of my clothes than i thought i would at this point. as comfortably as i would like? not for some pieces, but i fit and they’ll be a great metric of where my body is at.
am i feeling stronger? yes, compared to where i was at 8 weeks ago. but it’s hard because i’m comparing myself against where i was a YEAR ago, when i was feeling the best and strongest i had probably ever felt in my life. anyways, let’s just say this period of my life is a practice in patience, which is not my strong suit 🙂
emotionally/mentally: feeling MUCH better than i was a few weeks ago. i feel more confident in knowing cole’s routines [or lack thereof], so i’m now feeling better about getting out and about again, even if he isn’t sleeping. all of that, along with seeing work on my calendar once again, has me in a very different mental space. projects i’ve initiated around the house are coming to completion, so i’m getting that mental satisfaction that i was ‘productive’ on my leave [i know, keeping the kid alive and well is the only thing that matters, but moms, please tell me i’m not the only one who needs to feel like i accomplished something[s]].
it may sound kind of trivial, but it’s giving me tons of energy to start thinking of the outfits/styles i want to wear when i go back, too. now, don’t get me wrong, i am NOT excited to have to think through “can i pump easily in this?” everyday, but getting dressed for work is fun for me, so getting that back in my life is exciting. read more in this post if you want to know a little bit about why i love clothes/dressing myself.
i’ll be doing a two month update on baby cole here soon, but thanks to those of you that follow along on this pregnancy + post-delivery journey. motherhood is a trip, am i right? but the best. trip. ever. and i would not trade it for the world. love those tiny humans 🙂
happy wednesday!