this is my second-to-last installment of the fourth trimester series … are you sick of it yet? [if yes, go ahead and check out yesterday’s post on how i put outfits together. or more on my #fab4smoothie obession. if no, see the rest of them here]
anyways, i’ve been back to work for a week, so let’s check in and see how that’s going:
physically: i feel like i go between having very steady energy levels in the AM, but by the time i’m headed home on my commute i’m SO.TIRED. cole doesn’t sleep through the night and is up anywhere from 1-3 times [could be a lot worse!], so i’m legit headed to bed around 8p to make sure i can try and get some sleep. by nature of where my meetings/offices are and parking in a big city, i also walk a ton, so i am sure that wears me out. it’s weird because i feel like where they cut through the muscle inside is a little more sore than usual, but i’m guessing that comes with the healing process. once you start feeling better and aren’t hobbling around like your insides are going to fall out, you forget that you are still healing! it’s like the idea that once you look ‘back to normal’ [loling at that] you must feel back to normal, and that’s NOT the case at all.
pumping at work is as not fun as i remember it — i commend all of you moms who pump exclusively. honestly, do i feel that nursing is a bonding activity for me and my child? no; but it’s highly efficient. i love to bond with cole by looking at him and getting him to laugh by squishing his cheeks and thighs. SERIOUSLY THE BEST. nursing, not so much, but it’s quick and there’s little equipment required.
mentally/emotionally: i talked about it a lot, but i think i really underestimated how good it is for my mental health to have a job that i can pour myself into during the day. i seriously feel so, SO lucky that i can come to work, use my skills, talents, and hardworking attitude to do a good job here, and go home to my family that i LOVE with all of my heart. it makes my life enjoyable and fulfilled on so many fronts. i was missing that career fulfillment while on maternity leave. don’t get me wrong; did i like to be able to sleep from 5a-8a? go to target in the middle of the day and just wander? yes. but it gets old, and i feel more ‘me’ by getting back to work.
i also underestimate the power of an outfit that makes me feel confident. i’ve always struggled because to me, personal style and my –dare i say– obsession with it doesn’t necessarily make the world a better place. so i bought a cute top? but guess what: when i wear said cute top, i feel significantly more badass and hope to inspire others to feel that way, too. personal style to me is key to showing up and doing a good job both in my career and at home.
anyways, long story short, i’m glad to be wearing real clothes again and out of my gym shorts. getting dressed does wonders for my psyche.
thanks for following along on this journey. i know i’ve talked to some of you other moms out there, and it’s nice to feel like i am not alone in this. xoxo.