my last post in the fourth trimester series! i was actually reminiscing while joey and i were out to dinner about how, while i am incredibly lucky that my delivery, breastfeeding, and postpartum recovery have all been as good as you could ask for, it’s still not all roses and unicorns. being pregnant is hard. giving birth is hard. nursing is HARD. being a mom is hard. thinking back to those weeks [5-8ish] where i was trying to find my identity again .. i wish i could go back and let myself know that i would eventually be a version of myself that i recognized again – mentally, emotionally, and physically.
anyways, i thought i’d take today to address questions i’ve received in the past few weeks from friends, coworkers, fam, and all the amazing peeps i’ve connected with through this blogging journey. here we go!
are you still nursing?
ok, first off, i would argue that might be an inappropriate question if i hadn’t openly talked about it on my blog/social media. but yes, i am. i’m super lucky in that cole eats like a champ, and for me this has been a much easier endeavor than the first time around. that being said, breastfeeding is that to me: an endeavor. initially i wanted to do it for the health of my child, but now that i have my husbands full support in whatever i choose [he’s leaving this decision up to me], i have set a goal for myself of making it as long or longer than i did with logan [10.5 months]. it feels like so much less pressure now that i know i could stop if i wanted to. pumping 3-4 times a day is not exactly convenient, and having to make sure to plan my life around potential leakage is a lot of work. and to be honest, i bond with my baby a lot better when i’m down on the floor playing with him or rocking him to sleep than when i’m nursing. that said, it’s something i’m privileged to do, so i’ll keep doing it as long as i can.
what’s harder: one or two?
i realize it all depends on a lot of factors, but my answer to this one is a resounding baby #1. transitioning from 0 to 1 baby was significantly harder than from 1 to 2. sure, with two, you need both parents to tag-team sometimes. but with baby #1, there’s not only the whole “omg i’m going to break them” feeling. like, all the time. or worrying about EXACTLY how much to feed and EXACTLY how often. the hardest part about baby #1, though, is the identity shift you have that goes along with this physical change. you are now MOM. another little person depends on you not only for basic human needs, but to not screw them up royally so they can be functioning members of society. that weight is SCARY. and granted, you have it with your second, but it’s just so much easier because you are so much more relaxed. you are already mom, just adding another baby to the mix. i always say “you are just leveling up.” you’ve already traded shoving your ID in your bra when you leave the house for a fully stocked diaper bag, full of things you’ll never use, so might as well add one more sweet little human to the mix!
is it hard being back to work?
no. well yes. but no. having two babies is hard. but being back at work is just as hard as being home with them, so no. my career is a big part of my identity, so being back where i feel like i can add a different type of value [not a “keep this little human alive and thriving” kind of value] helps complete me. i’m excited to go to work, and i’m SO excited to go home and have one tiny human greet me at the top of the stairs and another break into a big, gummy grin when he sees me.
best tip for new moms?
i wanted to punch anyone who told me this the first time around, but after having cole, i truly understand that everything is just a season. those first six weeks – they seem never ending. but it’s just a season, and just as soon as it came it’s gone and all of a sudden your baby is crawling. then walking. then telling you to “chill out, mama.” it goes so fast. oh, and if you are going to try nursing, use nip cream the week(s) leading up to the birth. i got that tip from another fab mama in my life before i had cole and i swear it made a world of difference.
you have a boy and a girl – are you done?
ask us when the youngest is 2 and when logan starts school. the whole “one of each” thing isn’t reason enough for me to be done, but let’s just see how we feel in a few years.
big thank you for everyone who’s been following along on this journey. it’s not always the easiest to put myself out there and be candid, but it’s been wonderful to share it with all of you and i thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your support. while my focus is style and wellness, my children feed all of that, so you can rest assured there will be plenty of momming content to come.