first of all, if you are waiting for the right time or looking for an answer on if you should have another kid: this is your sign.
ok, got that out of the way. when people ask me how it is with two kids, i usually respond with “awesome” because, well, it is. i’ll be the first to tell you i was petrified to have children. there are so many ways you can mess them up, even with the best of intentions. then along came logan, and my world got flipped upside down, as i expected. i’m thankful for that shock, though, because it meant that the transition from 0 to 1 kid was significantly harder than 1 to 2. don’t get me wrong: it’s hard work. one of my coworkers put it best, though, when he said “sure, you might go to man-on-man defense with the second kid, but at least you know what game you are playing.” so true.
we are incredibly lucky that cole is a very chill baby, so he doesn’t require more than some ridiculous dancing for a laugh and a consistent feeding schedule, and he’s a happy dude. logan is getting to the point that she doesn’t like when i take him to a different room; i need to “bring her brother back out where she can see him!” that kind of bond and love will continue to grow and grow, and it’s amazing to watch. i’m SO thankful we had another child and a sibling for logan.
i’m also thankful that logan is old enough to [somewhat] comprehend what i’m telling her. when we first got pregnant with cole, logan was too young and didn’t get it. over the nine months i was pregnant, she grew up a TON and is now able to (somewhat) understand when i can’t do what she wants because i need to do something for cole. while she is old enough to be strong-willed, but not old enough to be independent and do things for herself, i’m still happy with the age gap between the two.
i thought it would help by framing up the hard and the best parts of having a second kid, so here goes:
the tough stuff
- most days it just feels like you are treading water, trying to keep small people alive let alone well. i have this overwhelming feeling i could be doing more or better, but it’s all i can do to sling some annie’s mac and cheese to logan while running to the other room to nurse cole.
- being pregnant and tired and sick while having a toddler is hard. i’ll admit i stuck logan in front of an ipad more than once. (we have since “sold” the ipads, if logan asks, because she got way too attached to her shows and would zone out. it’s been about 3 months; let’s see how long this lasts)
- double the diapers, double the daycare. kids are expensive. that’s all.
the best parts
- watching logan warm up to cole and become his big sister is truly one of the cutest things ever. even if she is screaming her head off demanding i bring that sleeping baby back into the living room where she can see him …
- they have two, distinct personalities that make our family more well-rounded. logan is sassy, smart, and will let you know what she’s thinking. cole is chill, sweet, and smiles exactly when you need a smile. the two of them are the highlights of my day.
- they are US. sometimes i catch myself just sitting there staring (admittedly kind of creepily) at my children, in awe of how amazing it is that they are mine and i not only made them, but get to keep them. getting to be their mom is such a privilege, and even on the toughest days i wouldn’t trade it for the WORLD.
having a second kid was an easy choice; we knew we wanted more than one child. when to have a second kid wasn’t as easy of a decision, but i have not regretted it for a single SECOND. cole fills a space in our family that was meant just for him, and logan gets a built-in best friend.