you guys — the feedback i’ve received from these posts has been SO COOL. if you reached out to me about this, THANK YOU. it’s always a little [lot] scary to be vulnerable and put yourself out there, so please know that i appreciate that you read/respond to this! here’s the lowdown on how the last week has gone:
physically: from a personal perspective, i think my incision is healing pretty well, but i still have some significant swelling in that area, giving my lower stomach a distorted look. the good news is is that i can do a front tuck again, though, and you know how much i love that! i have lower back pain like crazy anytime i lean forward at a 45 degree angle for any amount of time, which is different than i remembered. i’m guessing it’s because i literally have no core strength, so its my back compensating for that? weird, but i’m hoping it gets better as i continue to heal.
i’m still pretty tired considering the sleep hasn’t improved, but that’s to be expected with a 3 week old. i keep reminding myself that he/we are still so new to this, so i need to just accept it. also, ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ is not great advice, because 1. i have a two year old and 2. my baby sleeps all damn day. it’s highly convenient for getting things done, but not so convenient for catching up on sleep. i am unfortunately full of unsolicited advice, but you will N E V E R hear me tell someone to ‘sleep when the baby sleeps.’ unless i’m making a joke. and i know they’ll get the joke.
emotionally/mentally: again, the sunshine is so good for my mental well-being. so is getting out of the house. if i could go back to myself on my first maternity leave i would tell me to figure out how to get out every. single. day. i need to get out. going from a very on-the-go to just sitting at home, existing purely to keep a tiny human alive is quite a shock to the system. this time around, i was prepared and am trying to pick off little projects to keep myself mentally occupied as well as physically. don’t get me wrong: keeping this baby alive is my number one priority everyday. and not just alive, but thriving! but i can do more than that an it makes me feel productive and like i’m adding value. i also feel like it helps to make me feel like i can juggle two kids at once. i was VERY nervous about the two-on-one dynamic when i got pregnant, and we had our very first outing to target last week, just the kids and myself [“the kids!” that feels pretty real], and we survived. and dare i say it, we might even have thrived? logan was well-behaved and cole slept the entire time. i totally understand that it’s not always going to be like that, but it was confidence boosting for a new mom of two. like, COME AT ME WORLD, I TOOK TWO KIDS TO TARGET AND SURVIVED. ok, i get it, people do it everyday, but it was a mental boost for me. i also know that karma’s going to get me for that one 🙂
the other thing i think worth noting is that i have been trying to eat healthier, and while i’m eating far more sugar/carbs than i have in the last few years [hello sleep deprivation], getting more greens into my day has helped boost my mood, i think. if nothing else, placebo effect, but i really do buy into the gut-brain connection, and feeding my gut some greens has done my brain some good. this could probably be put up into the physical portion of this as well, since mental + physical health are SO intertwined.
someone asked me the other day if i missed being pregnant. nope, not one bit. do i recognize how lucky i am to have birthed two healthy babies? a resounding yes. do i enjoy being pregnant? not even a little bit. to me, the novelty wears off really quickly [like, right around the time i’m hiding under my desk trying not to audibly throw up where my coworkers can hear]. that being said, i am very, very, very grateful for the sleepless nights, the heartburn, the lack of front-tucks i can do, and the constantly stopping somewhere semi-private to nurse. it’s 110% worth it, and i would go through all of it again to bring these beautiful babies into the world.
– my sincerest thanks for reading –