sobriety + reality tv

has anyone else felt like this past year has showcased more conversations about sobriety than ever, at least on the reality tv stage? we had zach (tayshia’s season of the bachelorette), braunwyn and leah from the housewives, and it seems like a lot of our favorite scripted shows have some nod to addiction somewhere. i mean, even the kween herself chrissy teigen came out and said she was sober. [quick refresher for those of you that are new here, but i’ve been sober for >5 years. it’s not something I necessarily ‘lead’ with in my life, but it’s a really important part of who I am. sobriety has given me everything good in my life, and I am grateful for it]. anyways, here’s my laundry list of why i’m glad that sobriety is showing up on the tv screen:

it gives ultimate accountability. telling millions of viewers you are sober now means that you have a lot of people holding you accountable. that makes it easier for someone in their everyday life to have this conversation with a trusted loved one, creating accountability.

It normalizes sobriety. I mean, let’s talk about it. mental health is starting to get more and more air time, and addiction should fall right in line. let’s have these hard conversations and discuss exactly how sobriety helps some people show up. i’ll tell you it makes it a hell of a lot easier to tell someone you’re sober if they’re familiar enough with zach-from-tayshia’s-season’s storyline.

It levels the playing field. addiction doesn’t look like what you think it looks like. neither does sobriety.

it makes it cool. trust me; there is crushing guilt and shame that comes with addiction, and it’s not a mainstream ‘illness’ that you can get people to understand right away. having celebs speak up about it and be vulnerable opens the door wider for those that might be living in addiction’s shadow.

sober people aren’t weird, or boring, or losers. I was worried that when I got sober people wouldn’t think I was funny, or interesting, or worth being around. now, i’m not sure if I am still funny (or ever was), but I can tell you I have a core group of people that have stood by me before, during, and after getting sober, and they’re still here. [I know some of you are reading this, and I just want to tell you from the bottom of my heart how much I love and appreciate you] celebs + reality show stars showing us that they can be sober and stand in front of the public eye does the same thing; it validates the choice to be sober.

to me, sobriety is a spectrum. I know myself well enough to know that i’m far enough on one end of the spectrum that drinking is not an option for me, pretty much ever. I can play the tape forward and see everything good in my life go away if I don’t choose sobriety, every time. but I also think that normalizing this conversation opens the door for people to understand that it’s not black and white, all or nothing, for everyone. for me it is, but for others, their addiction might look different and their approach to sobriety might be different. i can still get a good chuckle out of a funny meme that references alcohol; i just know that IRL it’s not for me.

sobriety can be isolating, but it doesn’t have to be. sobriety is the cornerstone of my life, but i’ve been able to integrate it into the fabric of who I am. do I still go out with friends? heck yes. lucky for all of us, though, we don’t have to waste money on ubers and I can be the DD for life. joey still has a beer with dinner when we go out to eat, and that’s fine with me. my spectrum allows for that. some in sobriety won’t.

I love reality tv and pop culture [like, SO much]. I love even more that we can now start having this conversation about sobriety, and make it more mainstream. talk about sobriety like we would anxiety or depression; something that, with help, can make life so much better. thanks to the brave celebs that put themselves out there so we can continue this conversation, both in the hallowed circles that are trusted friends, sponsors, confidants and the arena that is social media and today’s pop culture. I think we can all cheers to that!

*all i can share is my experience, strength, and hope. if you ever want to chat, feel free to dm me on instagram. i’m always slow to respond, but I promise, I will get back to you 🙂*